Self led Spirituality

 As I walk the path of life.  Trying to find direction in this world full of labyrinths and paths to take.  I have come to realize always when I choose mu whims.  They are almost involuntary.  There is one thing I do remember, was i should never take the easy path into naivety.   I never wanted a shallow life with my need met.  I wanted depth and meaning....and i am pretty sure everyone does.   But we are pushed and persuaded by outside sources such as tv, friends, family and society.  I wont say I will ever make it in life.  In now way do I feel like I have it all.  Or am very successful and i am sure my family will see the same.  But from people i meet over the internet and in life.  They see me as successful manifesting my wants and needs with ease.   I finally ask myself..what is true success and fulfillment.   Accepting that even in my shadow moments i am aligning to my wants and needs.   Maybe left turns seems more painful than the right.   But taking that left path with thorns on the way leads you to an oasis of understanding that can relieve you of daily worries.   Some say its god.  Others will say its science.  I call it both, the universe.  Just several cogs leading to another.   Everything a circle.  A cycle.  A series of cyclical events.  We shouldn't attach to much to mistakes as we make them again.  What stops the cycle? Accepting it.  And learning what you need.  Because once we are aware of the problem then manifest a multitude of solutions.  Spirituality is much deeper than surface materials.  It is more than stones, spells, sigils, tarot.   Spirituality is your living life and it breaths and you really can't buy it from the store and be saved.   These are mostly tools used for problems that arise.  But i assure you....when the problem arises you wont search for it and scan through amazon.  For example say I had a awful loss...break up, sickness, death.  The first thing I think about is my grief before my purchase.   We stay in a moment of shock, from a couple hours to years.   Not until we change our mind and find the solution to our ails do we find what we need.  So never jump ahead and try to prepare for said event with spirituality.  You will never know what fruit is bearing until your cross the bridge.